With a little help from my friends

Thanks for the prayer, my back is not healed, not even close but I did manage to get some shopping done with Donna yesterday and hopefully will finish it up tomorrow. People are crazy out there so since a lot of stores will have early hours tomorrow I think I will use the fact that I can't sleep past 5:30 am to my advantage and go shopping sans the Shopanazi's.

I think tomorrow is tree trimming night for us. The tree has been bare except for the non sanctioned angel (it's a star year) and the lights. Tomorrow the ornaments come out and the star goes up and our tree won't look so forlorn.

Our neighbor is having an open house Sunday so we will go and visit with old friends, neighbors, and maybe even meet some (gasp!) new folks. Jo and Les are shuddering at the mere thought. Then we have Christmas Eve services on Monday night at church.

It's all good here at Camp Blaisdell, I'm glad I have my family to share it with.

Blessings to you all!

This isn't going as planned

I planned to get a bunch of shopping done and finish decorating my house and get stuff whipped into shape and... the list goes on. What is happening is I am laid up with a pulled muscle in the middle of my back and getting very little done since Donna is sick and I have not the impetus to soldier on through the pain and get stuff done.

Did I mention I keep trying to get whatever typhus she has? Ya, think homeopathic medicine, I've got it and I'm taking everything I can think of to stave off the cholera she's brought home with her. Okay, I'm being a wee bit melodramatic, but I REALLY don't want to be sick on top of everything else.

Anyway, please pray for a quick recovery for me and Donna. We still gotta shop!

Wow am I a liar

I am such a liar, last two nights I've been too beat to write. So, no blog, but I'm a good morning person.

I woke up this morning and went to my computer. I hoped to catch Aaron to talk to him since I knew he would be down about Donna leaving. He had skyped me about a half an hour before I woke up and was hanging out on his computer doing stuff. We had a nice long talk and I met his mom, sorta. She has a sense of humor, but I could have guess that from Aaron and his humor. He's a good guy and God blessed us with him meeting Donna.

So here I sit, trying not to be all weepy and emotional because my baby is in the air, flying home even as I write this. Words simply fail me, I cannot express just how excited I am and yet I somehow can't believe it either. I've wanted this day to come for so long...I sit here shaking my head in disbelieve that it has finally, finally arrived.

Anyway, thank you God this day had arrived. And in typical San Diego fashion, filled with sunshine and blue skies. Thanks for the smile God, and the warm hug.

Okay so I stayed up too late

Well, I got too tired to write in my blog so I guess I'll just write two today. I had a hard time getting anything done at work yesterday to hopped up on Christmas cheer! I did manage to get some work done. I better get the rest done today cuz today is my last day at work until January 7th, Baby!!!

I went out to dinner with my friend Ellen last night and grandbaby #4 is coming from the House of Billy. I'm going to take the high road and not say anything at this point except, contraception.

Okay, gotta get ready for work and you know it will be hard to concentrate with the ECCC doodah at the Color Me Mine dancing at the end of my day! WOOT WOOT!

Til tonight, I love you Donna and can't wait for you to be home.

Baby it's cold outside

It's been rather frigid in these parts lately, it's no York but...it's not supposed to be! This SoCal baby! It's too early in the year to be this cold. But it definitely makes it feel more Christmasy.

I "stole" a great pic of the girls at their Christmas party in England. Donna looks quite comfortable in her reindeer antlers. It is wonderful to see the girls happy and bubbly. It will be even better to see them live, not memorex.

Hope you are proud of me Donna, I put in a photo!

The day wasn't so bad

Today was supposed to be my hard day. It turned out pretty good! The meeting went well, the caterer did what they were supposed to do. Everything pretty much fell into place. Thanks for the prayer Cyndi, it is workin' girl!

Then for the evenings festivities, Les saved the day by getting the gift cards for my friend Suzie and her family for Christmas AND regular cards as well! Yep, he sooo came through for me. Dinner was nice and Suzette, per usual got great gifts for us. I'm so sad she moved up to Sacramento, I really miss seeing her.

Tomorrow should be a slow day for me, just getting a lot of loose ends tied up. I need to make sure I don't leave anything undone before I go on vacation.

I've been listening to the top songs for Christian contemporary music. There is a song by Mandisa (American Idol loser) called Only the World. She talks about her days being tough typically every day but it doesn't matter because it's only for a short time then she'll have eternity in heaven. It's a great one to listen to when things are rough, keeps stuff in perspective.

Well, I'm going to bed, I feel old and creaky tonight. Until tomorrow...

Ooo Dagnabit!

I made it one day then blew it. I missed yesterday. We got home from the Christmas musical at Sparky's church and I went to bed. I was whipped and didn't think twice. Well, I'm not perfect so I'm not gonna beat myself up over it.

Work was interesting, today we had our holiday breakfast in my unit. We do Cut-throat Christmas exchange with books. It's a more pc title for the "you can steal it 3 times then it's frozen" game. I didn't get the book I really wanted, but I did get one that I want. There was this massive coffee table book on castles that I really wanted for Les. But when you are the 60th person out of 60 people to chose, the odds really aren't in your favor. I did get Eat, Pray, Love so that made me happy.

Tomorrow we dine with the Drake's and we are one day closer to Donna being home. Hallelujah! I mark my days now by how many more days until she's back. It's 4 more now incredibly, and I'm having a hard time not worrying about the weather and her flight out of Minneapolis. But that just gives me more cause to get down on my knees and pray.

Gonna try

Okay, my goal is to write every day before Donna gets back. That means no matter how long the day has been or how many activities there are during the day and night, I have to write at least one paragraph. Sounds easy cheesy doesn't it. Well let me assure you it won't be. I have something going on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday night. Not to mention the craziness going on at work next week. So ya, don't act like ya'll know whatchyer talkin' about.

Women's brunch was lovely, the music beautiful and the food was good. The company was the best. I sat with Cyndi, Heather's aunt Pam, her grandma Lorene, and Janice (Cyndi's long time great friend). I always feel welcomed and loved when I go to Calvery Chapel by the ladies there and the circle I've been accepted into (Cyndi's). It's really a really wonderful experience to know that you are wanted by people that truthfully, don't know you all that well but are willing to bring you into the fold since you have one person's stamp of approval.

It's analogical of Jesus and our salvation. Without His "stamp" of approval (as our personal savior) God cares about us but can't have that relationship that is so freely given once we accept Jesus as the way, the truth, and the life. Then it's bring on the love and care that goes with this wonderful, priceless gift. Praise Jesus I have that gift that I am so unworthy of.

Father God,

Words cannot begin to describe how mind blowing your sacrifice was so that we could have this relationship. As a mother I understand sacrifice. I am not an unselfish person by nature, but my children have taught me to give, often more than I thought I had in me to give. Time, money, love, sleep, patience, the list is a really long one. But it is less than a tiny speck of what You have sacrificed for me and for all of us. For that I am as grateful as this pathetic wretch is capable of mustering. Your grace is sufficient for all that I have done and all that I have yet to do. The sheer depth of Your love is way beyond my incredibly fertile imagination. And though it is not nearly enough nor could it ever be, I thank You. Thank You for Your gift, it is the best one I'll ever receive.

Amen

A week away

So, it's a week away now. That's 7 days Luke! I just got some good news today. My boss said I could take January 2-4 off so that means I am off for 23 consecutive days. The last time I had that much time off was 1999. Next week is going to be busy, but that just means it will go by faster.

Jo has friends over to spend the night tonight. They are going to the winter formal with a whole group of people. She has a nice dress and Whoo Hoo she has shoes that will work and fit her to go with it already. Jack pot!!! I already have the batteries for the camera juiced up and ready to go.

Tomorrow is women's brunch for me at Cyndi's church, I'm looking forward to it. Hey, what am I going to wear? I guess I'll figure it out. I'm sleepy and need to go to bed, my writing shows it.

Ta love!

Inside out

That's how I feel, like wiggling until I'm inside out. This waiting is awful and delicious all at the same time. How crazy is that?! I finally got to the point where the thought "when Donna gets home" didn't automatically pop into my head. And now that is nearly every other thought.

I'm a lunatic, I know, but if God didn't like that about me, He would have thumped it out of me by now. Either that or I'm particularly tenacious! Stop that, I know what you are thinking!

God'll only give you what you can bear

And apparently I'm a veritable Clydesdale. Yep, plenty of pain this morning but once I got up a getting around the rough spots were ground, if not smooth at least smoother. But this last event of a very, very long week kept me going back and forth pushing stuff here, dragging stuff there, through the rain 5 trips to the portable and back in yucky, wet, and windy weather. All my bits and pieces hurt tonight and while I didn't have to cook dinner, (Woot-Woot! ) I have 4 teenagers in my living room watching gruesome horror flicks.

"That's redundant!", you say, gruesome and horror flick is synonymous. "Not so!", say I. They are watching Saw and Saw II curtesy of Papa Blaisdell. If I had been with them, I would have said most definitely resounding NO. There are horror flicks say, Drakula for instance. Then there's the other stuff, chopped up bodies and blood leaking everywhere. Ick (shudder)! They mentioned something else as well but if memory serves me right it was in the same genre. Really not my taste in movies, gimme a good comedy or even better a romantic comedy. Now that is real movie watching satisfaction.

Tomorrow I get up wit da boidies and go to coffee with Cyndi and possibly Lori, then the day is mine to torture, I mean motivate (ya...that's the ticket) the love of my life to fix stuff around the house. Hey, the door frame isn't gonna jump up and nail itself to the wall on it's own! I can't decide whether to go Christmas shopping or unearth my den. Although cleaning my den could very well be like Christmas shopping dependent on what treasures I find...hmm Besides it's supposed to rain tomorrow and while we do need the rain, it sure makes shopping, shall we say, a study in perseverance.

Well, I shall sign off for now, faithful reader; and you know who you are. So do I, you leave comments when you finish (how else would I know, silly?).

Glad I'm home

Boy am I. Praise Jesus a catastrophe was averted, right before I left work to go home. One room, two events, one of them mine for 60 people, all day. If I hadn't got to the room at the time I did the people running it would have been gone and there would have been big problems in the morning.

God's divine timing allowed me to be there just as they were leaving and disaster was averted. They moved to their correct room and we are settled for tomorrow. But it meant moving the boxes of binders twice and I'm stiff tonight and will mostly likely be in pain tomorrow. Is Bengay considered a cologne? I guess we'll find out.

Anyway, thank you God for pulling my fat out of the fire, again.

Pic-o-rama

So, the girls posted a bunch of photos and they are great. I love it because it made me almost feel like I was there with them. That freight train that was baring down on me when Donna left has made a return trip. There is so much going on between now and then, I keep forgetting it's little more than two weeks now.

I am actually a little giddy when I think about her coming home. I felt that way when Jo went to visit my niece Aundrea up in Lompoc for two weeks when Jo was 13. I couldn't wait for the train to pull into the station and all I wanted to do is hug her and give her big kisses all over her face. And that was only two weeks of separation, just imagine how I feel now!

Anyway, Heather is safely "home", Donna is loved, and Lauren has a hairy boyfriend, gettin' scary Luke.

Another post

Apparently someone (cough-Donna) thinks I don't write in my blog often enough. Oooo that's rich. Hello Kettle, meet Pot!

Well, I didn't get my Donna fix today. I guess sleep was more important. Sheesh! Whatever! Actually, while I would have gladly talked with her, I'm equally glad she is (hopefully) sleeping instead. I really don't want her to come down with pneumonia before she gets home, not that I ever want her to have it here or anywhere, it's just that?! Whatever, you know what I mean!

Not much has gone one since yesterday, got up, went to work, worked, now I'm home. But nothing awful happened in between so that's something to be grateful for. Oooo 'cept Heather's flight from Tel Aviv was cancelled.

God, please bring Heather and her traveling companions home safely and soon. Please keep Cyndi and Chuck's worry to a minimum and give them peace about it. By Your Will, God and in Jesus' name, Amen

So ya, every day brings Donna's arrival closer. Yessss! Woot Woot! It will be so great to have the girls home so I can give them a big hug, I miss them all.

Anyway, gotta make dinner, my family is starving or something.

So close I can taste it

That's how close it is to Donna coming home. It has been a really long time since I've written in my blog. I keep looking at it and going, nope, don't feel like it. I figured if Donna posted in her blog I better or she'll have bragging rights when she gets home.

So, it's Christmas time. In MY house, or at least in my heart, Christmas time starts November 1st and doesn't end until January 2nd. I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! And this year I have more reason than usual to be happy. Jo is doing well in school, I'm in a job that makes me feel like I'm appreciated, my hubby of 23 years is still the love of my life, and Donna will be back in plenty of time. LIFE IS SWEET!!!

The lights are on the house, the tree is up but not decorated (waiting for Donna to join us) I have fun things planned the whole month of December, I've started my presents shopping, and I pretty much know what I'm getting for people. And I've talked to Donna on skype for the last two days in a row!

So, all in all I'm a happy woman. Thank you Jesus, I surely don't deserve it, but I'll definitely take it!

Fire

Wow, this really takes me back to the last time. It was Donna's 16th birthday and she had Lauren spend the night on that Saturday since her birthday fell on a Sunday. I woke up and went out to get some last minute gifts (okay, I didn't have time to shop so I was buying her real gifts that day) and was greeted by an orange sky with a decidedly smoky smell to it. We were out of work and school all week that time and it came within a half mile of my house.

This time is much worse and much better in some ways. The magnitude this time is much greater. Fires in the North County and South County and pretty much to the east of us as well. Yet they are far enough away that we actually have pretty good air quality in comparison. There is not a whisper of wind where we are at and the wind has been the fires friend and our foe from the start. We are better prepared to evacuate than the last time. I'm worried but not out of my mind with it like the last time.

I'm just glad Donna will be spending her birthday in England this year. I never thought I'd say that, glad that my baby will spend her birthday away from me. But I am. I'm glad she will be spending it with a group of people that will enjoy Hamfest with her. Glad that she will have a boyfriend to share it with this time. Glad that she is safe and away from this craziness.

Jo seems to be taking it in stride. She's not a panicky person by nature...unless there is a bee or just about any flying insect around. Then she pretty much pegs out the meter of losing it. But the fires, meh!, nothin' but a thing. It certainly makes it easier for us 'rentals.

So if we have to evacuate we will be moving to our "yacht" at Silver Strand. We have an old 25' sail boat that can house us but it will be very tight quarters. Much like a jail cell, so ya, I'm praying the fires (more than ever before) don't reach us.

I hope this ends soon, there are a lot of good people out there that have lost their homes, let's hope there won't be many more.

AHHHHH!

Donna please write more! That's it, period.


okay, new pics too, please!

It's time

I wrote another blog.

Well, things have been busy in casa de Blaisdell. Homecoming dances, birthdays, and just plain day to day living. I haven't been grocery shopping in 3 weeks. But today is the day. The days fly by as always but the weeks drag on. I have tons of stuff to do at work. I feel like a cartoon character where their feet and legs are nothing but a swirly circle, yet they are getting nowhere. I put one project to bed and 3 more pop up. It's like the line from a Steven Curtis Chapman song, I'd pull my hair if I could just get one hand free. But it keeps my work day from getting boring and me on my knees in prayer. God has had my captive attention consistently like never before.

I love autumn, it's such a wonderful time of year, nice warm days, cool nights. I can cook things in the oven again without feeling like I'm the one roasting. My thoughts turn to baking cookies and bread. Just my thoughts however, I'm such a procrastinator!

Bible study has been fab. I really like inductive study, gets to the meat of the bible, not just the milk, if ya know what I mean.

Well, grocery shopping, cookie baking, and family loving is calling me.

Ciao!

Hey it's my birthday day!

Yep, another year older and not much wiser. Had a great day so far, God was particularly sweet to me. Talked to Donna and got my first happy birthday of the day from her. My sister and my brother called, great sermon at church, fab worship (guest singer and all my favorite worship songs), good lunch, gonna have a great dinner, the sun is shining and I feel loved by all my family and my good friends (thanks Cyndi for yesterday and your ewishes today).

God blesses us every day, it's whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. I praise you God, not just because I'm called to do it out of obedience, but because I truly want to. You really are the ultimate father and I'm glad I'm your child.

Autumn is here, kinda

Well, it is autumn here. We haven't had true summer-like weather since the end of August. But still, the nights aren't chilly enough to really call it autumn. Maybe it's more like we are fall-ing into autumn (I know, groan). All I know is, it is my favorite time of the year weather-wise. My fave season was, is, and most likely always will be Christmas.

I guess I better start figuring out what we are going to do Thanksgiving since we are down to the 3 of us. Les said let's just go to Denny's. EWWWW!!! I'd rather go to McDonald's if we are going to go that route, which we aren't. Makes me wonder what it will be like when the girls are gone. I've always imagined big dinners at my place, all the grandkids and extended family gathered 'round. But who knows, I moved away from my mom to Guam. Now that I'm on the other end of the stick, I realize how lonely she must have been not having all of us kids together at holidays like when we were little.

Well, I guess I'll just have to make sure the girls want to stay near, not quite sure how I'll do that but I have at least a couple of years to figure it out.

Done been broked

80 days has done been broked, yep, yep! It puts me 10 days closer to seen my Bun. I am near the eve of my birthday and it will be the first one I've spent separated from her in 20 years. Can't say that I like it, nor can I say it'll kill me. I need to get off before I get maudlin.

Around the world in 90 days

So, three more hours until they'll be home in 90 days. Cyndi said time is flying this morning. I don't know if I agree. Time seems to have slowed down to a crawl in some ways for me. The weekends fly by and the evenings sail through, the days themselves crawl. I sooo just want for her to be home. I'm missing Donna so much. I know when she gets home she'll be in my pocket for 2 maybe 3 days and then she'll be back to her usual schedule of never home. But at least I'll have access to her. I can look in her room and see her sleeping. I haven't been this lonesome for her since she first left.

Maybe because the conversation we had this morning sparked it. She is feeling discouraged with life away from home in a foreign land and misses familiar things. It's part of the process of being gone. I went through the same thing when I moved to Guam, except it's an US Territory so some things were the same. I missed milk, the milk plant on island reconstituted their milk with coconut milk, yuk. I like coconut but not all dairy products are supposed to taste like it. So anyway, on a small scale, I can relate.

I just pray for her to not be discouraged, it will pass and I pray for me to be encourage that she is safe in God's arms. If they can't be mine, what better ones to snuggle in?

I love you Bun.

Yikes!

Wow, that last post sounds angry. It's not how I meant it, I'm just worried and scared and that what I sound like when I get this way.

Sorry.

Boy was I wrong

So I said I would be fine once they got to York. Except I hadn't heard much from them since Bath, so ya, Sunday or Monday is the last time I've have more than a "Hi, we're here and we are alive." conversation with Donna. In fact the last time I had any contact with her was Thursday afternoon around 2:30, I got a couple of texts. I've texted her 3 times and left a message on her cell, which did ring and not go straight to voice mail. I'm not sure whether to be nervous for her well being or ticked or???

This is just so incredibly FRUSTRATING!!!

Okay, so it's lunchtime there, maybe they are getting settled into their flat and checking York out, though I would think she'd have her phone on her. Or maybe they went to London to pick up their luggage they left behind at Scott's, who by the way, is a SAINT! But even if that was true, she would still have her phone on her. So I can take this two ways, maybe three. 1)She doesn't have her phone on her because it's charging. 2)She does have her phone on but can't answer it because...(I got nuthin, I don't know why she wouldn't answer her phone). Or 3)The old favorite my brain dredges up, she can't answer the phone because she's a)been kidnapped and is having awful things done to her, b)been hit by a lorry and her phone was lost in the rush to get her to the hospital, or c)simply laying dead in a ditch.

Ya, that is but a small insight as to what goes on in my very fertile brain when I don't hear from my loved ones. With Les, her dad, it was always, he got smeared on the freeway and they were having trouble identifying him to call his closest of kin.

Donna, do me a favor and just send me a long email telling me what's been going on the last few days so I'll be put out of my misery.

I love you a lot....more than you know.

Mom

State of the onion

Well, it looks like I might be able to handle this whole thing. But I will still be happier once they get to the college. I know they are having so much fun and experiencing life but I am after all, a mom, and safety comes first!

Donna has been pretty good about letting me know her whereabouts and talks with me nearly every day. I can't believe tomorrow will make a week. My instinct is to hurry through the next four months but I know there is much to be done and learned on a myriad of levels.

Keep me on the straight and narrow God. My goal is to keep my eyes on Jesus and before I know it, when I look up, it'll be time to pick them up from the airport.

Day 1 of my Bantu Death Wait/JK

Donna knows what this means, girls. Just ask her after she quits laughing.

So yesterday was one of the toughest days I've ever endured in my life. Now, to understand the tough day standings in the world of Mama J, let me explain. I've lived through these people dying; starting with the first one passing away when I was 9 yrs. old, in chronological order: my grandpa (paternal), father, sister, grandma (paternal), uncle/aunt/uncle (within 3 months of each other), grandpa (maternal), mother, and grandma (maternal), the last one died when I was 35. Let me tell you in all honesty, Donna's leaving was just as painful as any of those deaths, at least it was during yesterday.

I finally made a deal with God yesterday, late afternoon. Here's how it went, it's rather complicated so stay with me. Okay, ya ready? Okay, so God would let me be numb, not feel anything, so I could stop crying and what I would bring to the table was that I'd keep breathing. God took the deal and I kept my side of the bargain. I'm thinking God made out on this one. Not that I had intended on ending my life, it just hurt to exist and still does off and on throughout the day.

Today I woke up to my alarm ringing and instantly realized I had NOT received the promised call around 2 am letting me know they had arrived in England. 'So roight, I'll call her. Ummm, her phone is going straight to voice mail. Okay, now I go straight to panic mode. I'm on the computer checking out the American Airlines site to see if the plane landed or crashed. Donna called while I was in the process. All of the sudden my heart could slow and begin to beat normally; my baby girl is safe.

My day started rough at work, only because I was still so very rung out from yesterday's cryathon. Trepidatiously, I'm thinking I might make it, lest I get too confident. Since first contact this morning, Donna has called once more and texted me as well. I'll be talking through Skype with her my tonight/her morning.

While it is not all sunshine and butterflies today, I can at least talk about the whole thing with out bursting into tears. The tears are there, but I am able to keep them at bay. Yesterday, fugidaboudit, I couldn't go more than five minutes without crying-until I made my deal with God. And oh yes, I had been praying/begging for His/Jesus/Holy Ghost's help, mercy, grace, you name it, I asked for that type of help. God enjoys a good covenant and that one was a sure thing.

So, tomorrow I'll wake up, remember Donna's gone, hopefully only feel sad, maybe cry. But I know that I can make it as long as I pray and hold my breath. Okay, maybe not hold my breath, but deep breathing is definitely NOT on the menu for the next four months!

Father God,

I'm so glad I have You to lean on and to rely on. Please forgive anything that might have offended You during my story time, it was not my intent. I praise You and thank You for Your grace and mercy.

I love You Poppa God,

Amen

Who was that woman?

This morning-hectic, fraught with tension and worries was a comedy of errors, where the laughs fell flat. Breakfast was on the agenda but no one was very hungry for food. We were more hungry to scrape every morsel of time with our girls that we could pry loose and savor.

The airport parking was a major surprise, but the tenacious were rewarded. Checking the bags and getting checked in was a pain but finally sorted. Donna got a break on her overweight bag (I swear we weighed it last night and it was under 50 lbs.) and was not charged for those 2 extra pounds.

Then we got to relax in McDonald's for 40 minutes until we had to say our good byes. How did the time from my begrudgingly agreeing that "Yes, God, I'm ready to stop praying they don't go." to the flight today go so incredibly fast? I've kept telling myself since yesterday, it's not possible that she'll be gone for four whole months. What am I going to do?

Letting go of the girls was so very hard. Letting go of the tears was so very easy. Stopping the flow, not so easy. Rivers of tears have been cried already and I fear I have oceans more in me yet to be released. It's times like this that I wish I was more pragmatic and cold. Feeling this much is just too painful, like a raw wound splashed with salt water, it sears.

Abba God, I can't even begin to imagine the agony you felt for your Son, cut off from You as Jesus hung from the cross, unable to help or even acknowledge Him until He died. Because as horrible and helpless as I feel now, how much more magnified was Your pain. Teach me God, to rely on You, Jesus be my shelter and comforter, Holy Spirit, lift my head when I cannot.

You gave me a life-line with Cyndi and Lori, my partners in this four month wait. I know (in my mind) our daughters started their day as girls. But they didn't climb on the plane that way. Let me tell you a little tale. When I was pregnant with Jo, Donna was still a baby (eighteen months). She remained a baby to me until I walked back through our door with Jo. Magically, the daughter I had left less than 24 hours before had become a big girl. She hadn't changed from the two year old I left, but my perception of her had. Today, when Donna walked through that metal detector and came through the other side, she magically became a young adult woman; confident and capable just as she has been raised to be. Not because she hasn't been that for awhile, but it takes her leaving me to realize that.

Okay, it's time. I have to blow my nose, pull up my socks, and get a grip. Otherwise, the next four months are going to be excruciating and I still have a daughter and husband at home who need me. Not the mental me I've been for the last week, but the one who can "hang" in the toughest of times. I'll just pray and pray, wait for the Troika to come home, and let God teach me what it is I need to learn. All I can say is that it must be a humdinger.

That's not the wind whistling by!

So I had a great time last weekend. Our family spent the day at Silver Strand with Heather's family and friends. We ate, played Boggle, ate, talked, ate, walked in the surf, ate, played volleyball, ate, sat around the fire, and ate some more. Then Sunday was church, shopping with Donna, Heather, and Cyndi for shoes (it was C's bday) and then a movie.

Good times.

But this is week is flying by waaaaay too fast, hurtling me towards a very difficult Wednesday next week. I keep thinking, "Next Wednesday they go!" in the idle mental moments at work when I'm doing something that takes no thought process at all. I can only hope that the time that Donna is gone moves equally as fast. My logic keeps telling me that it's only four months and then she'll be home, but my heart is unwilling to listen. It is such a stubborn thing, prone to bruising easily and, quite frankly, just as easily torn in two.

Donna, pray for me as I pray for you. Pray God's will for me, that I would hear his voice whispering words of comfort while you are gone. That this season of departure would help me grow closer, to rely, and to seek Him more diligently.

I love you Bun, come back safe to me.

Wow-this hurts

I keep telling Donna I don't want to talk about her leaving because it will make me cry. But it really doesn't matter if we don't talk about it, I can't seem to quit crying about it anyway. The closer it gets the harder it is. So I need to pray, pray for peace about this, acceptance, contentment, and maybe even to feel the excitement and sheer joy my baby girl will know when she steps on terra firma of England. I need to pray for perspective, you are not going off to war or moving indefinitely (Les pointed that out to me) you are going away on an adventure with God and thank Him you will be coming back.

It's just so scary letting go, like letting you take those first few steps across the floor to your daddy, holding my breath that you wouldn't fall and crack your head. But your Abba Daddy will be holding your hand the whole way there and back, so I just need to relax and trust God, just trust God.

"Be still, and know that I am God"
Psalm 46:10

Amor

Donna is going on a trip to Mexico to finish building some houses this weekend, they call it an Amor trip. Four extremely long days of me worrying about her because she won't be able to call to say she's safe (no microwave towers). At least when she goes to York she can call or email.

Please pray that the group is bless by this mini mission and that everyone remains safe, healthy, uninjured, and has a great time.

Pray for me that I don't worry excessively, I'm gonna worry, it's just how much.

Thanks.

Da beach

So I went to Silver Strand with Donna to spend time with Mamma Fair and her crew. I had a great time. We watched Donna build a sand castle and generally enjoyed the sounds and sights of the ocean, played Boggle (no, I did not win, Cyndi did), talked, laughed (a lot), and tortured/grilled Luke Harrington with "Momma" questions.

I went walking with Chloe and Cyndi and I spent time with some wonderful people that I would happily do it again. I think Chloe has finally accepted me...maybe.

Spending time with Cyndi really made me realize just how much I missed her friendship while I was away in Colorado. It's funny how quickly someone can become important to you in such a short time. I know that the Momma group is going to be vitally important to me for the next 6 months and beyond. God is so good a putting the right people together to suit each others personalities and needs. He is truly awesome.

La Poema

Per the request of one devoted reader of my blog, here is the poem my friend Suzie wrote for me:

Because I love you...

When you're sad, if you're blue
know that she's (Donna) still loving you

No matter how far, no matter how long
You'll always be her #1-one and only-Awesome Mom.

By
Suzette Drake

Now you know why we've been friends for over 20 years now.

Annnnd we're back!

So, we're back from our trip to CO and proudly proclaim that we have a new addition to the clan. Ayden James Kravitsky was born on Friday 7/20/07. And what a handsome boy is he.

We had a great time there, enjoyed family and relaxed. We didn't go much of anywhere, but that's okay cuz my favorite part is the visiting not the going to stuff. Had some great talks, warm and fuzzies abounded.

Even the travel wasn't a supreme drag, at least not for me. But I'm crazy and like to fly sooo draw your own conclusions.

Doing the count down on Donna's departure, even though I really try not to. And I really try not to. My friend Suzie sent me a wonderful poem about Donna and I that she wrote for me and a really cute stuffed frog holding another really small stuffed frog. That bad boy will be dog- earred by the time BeeAre gets home.

Work is beyond crazy right now. I literally don't have enough hours in the day to get it all done and like Big Lots, more stuff arrives daily by the truck load. Pray for my sanity at this point, cuz He's the only one who is gonna get me through this.

Gettin' on a plane

So we are taking off today on our vacation. Apparently Donna and I are the only ones excited. Les and Jo seem to think it will be the Visit of Doom. All I know is I get to see my sis, my niece, and her new baby boy...whenever he is born.

I'm packing my bible, a new development for me. I need to get a lighter travel bible if I'm going to continue this trend. Anyway, I figure Donna and I can figure out some sort of mini bible study or something.

Well, I guess what this is all about is pray for us, the Blaisdell-Ruden-Kravitsky family. Safe travel, harmonious co-existence, and safe birthing for my niece Aundrea.

I love you all my friends-God Bless

Miss me!

4th of July!

So, here it is, Independence Day. Donna is working Santee Salutes and the rest of the fambly is hanging at home. We made pork ribs (perfection!) corn on the cob, butterflied center-cut pork loin chops, herbed potatoes, and mini loaves of bread. So good!

We had a dip in the pool before Donna had to go to work and spent some QT together. It's been warm here today, but not scorching like they predicted. All in all, a good day.

Only cruddy thing about it is we have to go back to work tomorrow, ugh. I guess the bright side of this is that we have jobs to go to and that is better than some folks. I know, it's a stretch, work with me will ya!

Anyway, I'm glad I do live in the USA, lots of personal freedoms and definitely the Land of Plenty. Thank you God for your graciousness, how you bless me and mine.

Check out the new name

Okay, I've been racking my brain for my name that rhymes with Bear, Pear and Square. I thought Momma Flair or even Eclair (since I have such a sweet tooth). It came to me when I was writing an message to Heather, I wanted to sign off in my name and it hit me...Momma Scare. Not because I am such scarey person, but because I am often secretly (and not so secretly) fearful of what life has to hold instead of laying down at Jesus' feet where it belongs.

Most people have no idea how much of my persona is facade and how little it is of true courage. But that's the beauty of it, courage is not something you have, it's something acquired. Faith is the key to getting it and prayer is the way to keep it. The Holy Spirit will not let you down if you are earnest in your request, willing to spend a bit of time letting down your guard, and letting Him in.

Sorry, I dropped off the planet for awhile

Yea...so I got whatever Jo got and it nailed me hard. I'm still wimpy around the edges butcha can't keep a tough broad like me down! Not much going on, Jo's last day of school was today. She is TOTALLY thrilled about it.

I am swamped beyond belief at work and there is no relief in sight. I'm going in early tomorrow just to get some stuff done without being bombarded from all sides.

Donna was very grouchy yesterday, not sure what that was all about.

We are getting our breaker box fixed soon so we won't have to keep moving the same 50 foot bright orange industrial extension cord around from the microwave to the coffeemaker then the dishwasher. I don't EVEN want to know what that is going to cost.

Okay, so it's a boring blog, no one forced you to read it, so don't blame me! Neener Neener!

Latah

What? I'm sorry I can't hear you!

So Jo has been sick since Wednesday. Fever, achy, chills, sore throat, and generally feeling lousy. She started yanking on her ear yesterday and we all know what that means! What you don't, well you must not have had kids yet...it means an ear infection.

I took her to Kaiser tonight and she will be taking two MONSTER SIZED horse pills (I think they would choke a horse, they are that big) a day and drops for her ear. The appointment was late and when we finally got home I dosed her with the pills, got her into bed, and wrangled her until I got all of the droplettes into her ear. She had to sit still for 5 minutes to ensure maximum absorption, which was almost more than she could take. Finally, she could move about and proceeded to try to dab the excess fluid out of her ear until I suggested she roll over to get it all out. Something about the way she was reacting to the drops in her ear reminded me of my sister Donna. When we were living together I would nurse her when she got sick. Jo just mirrored some of Donna's reactions so perfectly it was kinda eery.

Anyway, as wierd as it may sound, I like it when Jo is sick because she allows me to mother her. She also lets her guard down and laughs at my jokes instead of acting like they are lame. She actually told me she thinks I am funny normally but she is usually strong enough to catch herself from reacting to it. I don't know whether to be happy or upset. So I guess I'll just take this gift God has given me and accept it as a good thing. I really like the direction we are moving in lately, even when she isn't ill.

Well it's late and I need to get my hienie into bed, 5:30 comes early. Do me a favor, if you read this before Saturday 5/26, pray for Jo to get well and that she remembers to take ALL of her medication.

Here we go!

Well, I guess I've delayed this as long as I could. My first blog...wow. Let's get this straight right from the beginning, I've always had trouble journaling. That's what this is folks, don't fool your self by using the term "blog". It's the same stuff you had to do in 3rd grade when your teacher said, "Okay class, get your journals out and start writing!" ARGGGH!!! Brain seize... thoughts?! What are thoughts?! I always froze up with a vicious case of writer's block. Pretty sad when you're writing career is washed up at 8 years old.

I have progressed since then, I unravel a incredible non-tale of drivel now, mostly free associating really. But I digress...

So the Terrible Trio, the Troika if you will, are going to jump "the pond" mid August. They will take three hearts with them filled with love, hope, and trepidation. But like the other "Moms", I will be excited for my daughter (Donna) as well. The incredibly cool stuff they will see and experience, it boggles my mind. I wish I had telepathy so that I could see it through her eyes as she experiences it.

I know God has some fantastic things in store for them as well as for all of us here at home. A serious season of growth for all. I get the funny feeling that this is God's way of prying my fingers off her hand so that she can finally be the wonderful adult that He knows she will be. He knows just what kind of ninny I am when it comes to my kids. Just how hard it is for me to let them grow up. I guess it takes an ocean for me to allow her this final whack at the umbilicus.

It will also bring me to my knees before Him, right where I should be. God knows just how hard my head is and where to poke me to get my attention. And boy does He have it now! My most fervent prayers are always about my girls. Keep them safe, help them make the right decisions, don't let a lunatic get them, let them find good Christian friends, let a good Christian guy come into their life, keep them well, help them to concentrate during their tests, Lord the prayer list of a mother is endless. I truely could go on and on. The one I've never prayed is help me to let them go...until now. So...

Father, I pray that you give me the sense to let Donna go with joy. I'll need you more than ever to keep the enemy from playing with my mind and emotions. Through prayer I will learn to rely on Your wisdom more each day and enjoy Your guidance, comfort, and grace. I know that You will be with Donna always and by Your will, she will come back home safe full of wonderful tales, thoughts, and experiences.

In Jesus name and by His blood,

Amen

Okay, so this one was a liiiiittle heavy this time. Don't worry, I'm too much of a clown to be so maudlin all of the time.