It has been a week since Donna and Aaron have moved out and I haven't shed a single tear in two days. In fact, I walked into their old bedroom and instead of ghosts of them, I saw possibilities of how I could set up the room to better serve my needs.
Does this make me a bad Mom or just resilient? It's not that I don't miss them, I do, terribly! I guess it must be that to continue to mourn their leaving is just as harmful to me as it is for them. I am still sad when there is something I want to tell her and she's not there. I'm not sure when it is appropriate to call or text anymore since I don't know her work schedule and I don't want to wake her. We'll get into a rhythm soon (hopefully) and it won't be so hard, but for now, it feels like being in limbo or walking on sand, the footing is definitely not secure.
Anyway, just thought I'd report this, I guess to make it more real to me.
2 comments:
i think it's good you're not seeing ghosts ay more that would be creepy : )
you are not a bad mom for continuing to live your life. this is jsut a new stage of our lives we are both entering and while it will not be like it was that doesn't mean it's changing in to something bad. it;s a chance to remember who you were before jo and i and be able to be more Janet than Mom( not that we dont still need you. i will always need you)
i love you and i am going to try and figure out a time when we can talk; these past 3 days have been very intense.
ps as long as you don't get rid of the amazing(ugly) orange tile feel free to jazz up the room any way you see fit, i mean it is your house : )
Sounds like good steps to me. Lead the way...I'm going to be following you one of these days :)
Post a Comment